Wednesday, 17 December 2008

The curse of self suffiency...

One of my strengths, I think, has always my ability to cope with most situations on my own...

This is partly historical... when I was a young lad and my parents moved around a lot my main tactic to make friends was to keep myself to myself, and when someone came to talk to me, to befriend them... This tactic was mostly successful, and as a by-product of it I am quite happy on my own, left to my own devices 90% of the time.

There are 2 main problems with this tactic. The first is the 10% of the time when I really need someone to chat with, or just to be social... I can talk to people if there is some excuse to do so... a shared activity, close proximity for extended periods of time, or an introduction by a mutual friend... And occasionally someone will come and talk to me... which I can cope with just fine...

The second problem is when it comes to meeting women... Because on those occasions when someone comes to speak to me, it is always, without fail, a guy that comes to talk to me.... This left me in the position of having lots of guy friends, and very few female ones.... Now when I started doing Salsa this evened out a bit, but now I'm all alone on the wrong side of the planet, and suddenly both of these problems are thrown into sharp relief...

Sometimes I think it would be simpler if I was the kind of person that feared being alone more then I fear the prospect of trying to start a conversation with a stranger.... Or maybe the kind of person that can't help but say whatever random thoughts pass through their mind...

Who knows...

2 comments:

Kathryn said...

That you don't fear being alone is such a great quality.

You merely need to practise being a bit more sociable if that's what you want.

Olivia said...

I am not sociable either..I am not a sanguine
and i love spending time alone with my self

and i dont see anything wrong with this :)